


Hold On Tight, Don't Let Me Go: Because I Still Need You...

by FormulaFerrari



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Developing Relationship, Drabbles, F/M, Linked Works, M/M, series of drabbles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-17
Updated: 2014-09-17
Packaged: 2018-02-17 18:18:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2318831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FormulaFerrari/pseuds/FormulaFerrari
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A selection of University drabbles</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hold On Tight, Don't Let Me Go: Because I Still Need You...

**Author's Note:**

> Rating subject to change  
> More characters and Relationships to be added  
> Potentially the drabbles will be in date order, I'm not quite sure yet   
> : )

“Oh! Come on! You cut the corner!” Mark outburst as he lost yet another position. Jenson smirked, pulling into the lead even more than he already was.

“I thought you said you were good at this game.” Jenson teased, glancing over at Mark as he powered down the home straight, starting his final lap. Mark grimaced, gripping his controller tighter. Jenson laughed under his breath turning back to the screen.

“I am.” Mark swerved his car, trying to overtake the one in front. He spun on the gravel and ended up facing the wrong way, letting two more cars past.

“Yeah, you look it.” Jenson grinned sarcastically. Mark rolled his eyes.

“At least I don’t cheat.” Mark spat, bringing his car back onto the track in pursuit of those in front. Jenson shook his head, laughing. 

“You really don’t like loosing, do you?” He smirked. Mark removed the frown from his face.

“I’m really not that fazed, mate.” Mark said relaxing back in his seat and easily regaining the two places he lost during his spin. Jenson scoffed at him.

“Sure.”

“I’m not. You obviously need to win to give yourself an ego boost. It’s a shame there are no girls around.” Mark smiled, keeping his eyes on the screen. He saw Jenson cross the line on the area of the screen below his. Jenson put the controller down on the arm of the chair in satisfaction.

“You keep telling yourself that, Mark. It’s your game. You can play on it anytime you want. How does it feel to be beaten by a rookie?” Jenson teased. Mark crossed the line, rolling his eyes.

“Like fuck you don’t play this every waking moment you are at home.” Mark grinned. Jenson blushed slightly.

“Again? I’ll even give you a head start.” Jenson said, already scrolling through the track list.

“No head start necessary, kid.” Mark smiled, knowing how much Jenson hated it when he called him that.

“Why don’t you pick one of the faster cars?” Jenson mused as Mark selected the Ferrari again. Jenson selected the McLaren.

“They’re all the same.” Mark added. Jenson shrugged.

“The Ferrari is not that good.”

“At least it’s been on the podium.”

“Shut up.” Jenson stuck his tongue out at Mark as the game loaded the British Grand Prix. Mark sat forward and Jenson smirked at him. “Not competitive my arse.”

“Shut up.” Mark threw back. They started the race in silence, both concentrating intensely. After the first few laps Mark was leading with Jenson just behind him.

“Aren’t your roommates bored of me yet?” Jenson asked, trying to overtake Mark on the outside of Village. Mark smiled as they head onto Wellington Straight with him still in the lead.

“Are you trying to distract me?”

“No…” Jenson said, uncrossing his legs and pressing his feet flat on the floor. Mark just smirked.

“It’s all right. There are still fifteen more laps.”

“Shut up, Mark.” Jenson breathed again as he took Maggots too wide and nearly lost it in the gravel. He just about saved it but a Red Bull flew past and he rolled his eyes.

“They’re out.” Mark answered. Jenson frowned as he undercut the Red Bull in Vale.

“Huh?”

“My roommates. I think Kimi said he was going to go and get pissed, though he kind of does that every night, and Romain has a date.”

“A date? What… With a girl?”

“Yeah, he’s been seeing this girl Marion for a while… They’re quite close…” Mark dropped his eyes to Jenson’s screen for a moment, checking where he was on the circuit before adding: “Very loud.” As predicted, Jenson swerved the car as he fell forward laughing. Mark’s grin widened too. “You’ve got it all to look forward to next year.”

“Oh yeah? Why not this year?”

“You’re a cutie little first year. No one will take you seriously yet. You’ve got to settle in.” Mark smirked over at Jenson to see him blushing with a bored expression.

“You make me out to be so young and inexperienced.” Jenson sighed dramatically. Mark laughed at him.

“You are… Little Jenson baby-”

“-Fuck off, Mark.” Jenson spat, making the Australian laugh more.

“Now what would your Dad say if he heard you speaking to me like that?”

“ _He’d_ tell you to fuck off.”

“Or would he join in and tease you too?”

“You know what? I sometimes regret growing up with you.”

“Aww, you don’t mean that. You wouldn’t have been able to follow in my footsteps if you didn’t.”

“You just picked a good course.”

“Sure… That’s why you came to the same Uni as me to do the same degree as me… I think you missed me.”

“Whatever.” Jenson threw as his cheeks reddened some more. Mark didn’t notice because his eyes were glued to the game. “I’m definitely not a kid anymore.”

“Oh yeah? So does that mean you’ve had some then?” Mark face stretched wider into a smile. Jenson just frowned.

“Had some what?” Jenson asked innocently. Mark turned to face him, frowning.

“Sex, Jenson.” Mark said bluntly before turning back to the television. Jenson blushed fully and was sure Mark could feel the heat radiating off his cheeks.

“I…” Someone knocking on the door saved Jenson. He breathed out as Mark paused the game and got up to answer it. Jenson had never really felt right about going that far with a girl. He watched Mark leave the room and that burning fear inside him that the repulsive feeling of being with a girl had something to do with Mark. It made him feel dizzy. He shook his head. It was just because Mark and he were close. Mark was like a brother to him. That was all.

Mark crossed through the small flat and headed for the front door. Checking his watch he assumed it was possibly Kimi having forgot his key. Romain would probably stay at Marion’s tonight so the likelihood of it being him was low. Mark grinned, ready to mock Kimi for forgetting his key, as he got to the door. His grin fell onto the floor as he took in the actual knocker.

Mark had met Fernando when he had helped Jenson move into his room in the on site halls. Fernando’s room was next door to Jenson’s and his timidness had pulled Mark to him instantly. He had almost forgotten the real reason he was standing there until Jenson had nudged him with his shoulder. Mark would never ask who started it, though he liked to think it was Fernando, but a friendship grew between the two of them and Mark saw Fernando almost every time he saw Jenson. It was at the beginning of the second term when Mark had gone over to see Jenson that he realised Fernando would always hold a special place in his heart. He would always have a weakness for the Spaniard and would have to pick him up when he had fallen down.

He had gone to see Jenson on that life-changing day, just like he did every Thursday. Fernando’s door had been open a little and Mark’s eyes had been drawn to the fraction of the view he could see into Fernando’s life. The life Fernando lived behind that door. His feet had shuffled to a stop as he registered there didn’t seem to be anyone inside. Abandoning his thoughts of Jenson behind the door to his right he moved through to the kitchen to see if Fernando was there. He wasn’t. No one was in the kitchen. Mark found himself drawn to the room and before he knew it he was walking inside.

The room wasn’t empty. Mark had been wrong. Fernando was lying in the middle of a load of open books, sobbing quietly. Mark’s heart broke instant and he shut the door crossing over to him. He had pulled Fernando from the carnage and onto his lap. Fernando had gripped to his shirt so tightly and Mark never wanted to let him go. He cleared the bed by pushing the books on the floor, with Fernando burying his head in the curve of Mark’s neck and wrapping his arms tightly around him, and sat back against the headboard, stroking Fernando’s hair. They had stayed like this until Fernando had calmed down and relaxed in Mark’s arms. Fernando had explained how he was finding the study intense and that because he was low on funds he hadn’t been able to fly back to Spain over Christmas. He had been dealing find with it all until he found out today that he wouldn’t be able to go back over the Easter break either.

_“Let me get Jenson. I’m sure he can sympathise-” Mark said. Fernando gripped to him tighter._

_“No… Do not want Jenson…”_

_“He’s on your course.”_

_“You did this course…”_

_“Yeah, but that was a year ago.”_

_“Do not get Jenson. Have to pretend to be strong if you get Jenson. Right now I need to be weak. No one supposed to see me weak…” Fernando admitted, moulding closer to Mark. Mark frowned, looking down at him curled in his arms._

_“But I’m here?” Mark queried. He was sure if Fernando didn’t want people seeing him weak he would have thrown him out. But Fernando just looked up at him and smiled, drawing his cheekbone with his finger before pressing his palm to his face. Mark tried to not focus on how intimate it felt._

_“Sí… You are…” Before Mark could comprehend what was happening, Fernando kissed him._

That was the beginning for both of them. And even if they don’t talk about that kiss or that night they both know it happened. Fernando believed he was into girls. And Mark understood that. He just knew Fernando was wrong. Something was there between the two of them. Even if they weren’t allowed to admit it, there was something there. Mark wasn’t going to join Jenson when he went home at Easter. He wanted to stay with Fernando. And since Kimi and Romain would go to their respective homes over Easter, Mark had invited Fernando to stay at the flat. An invitation that was accepted.

Not that Mark had told Jenson it was happening.

Since then Fernando had always come to Mark when he needed help or just needed to talk. Mark never minded. He always had open arms for Fernando. Which was why Fernando was standing outside his door right now. He looked up at Mark with big, sorrow-filled eyes. Mark’s mouth dropped open as he took in Fernando’s appearance. Blood stained down the front of his faded white shirt and he had the back of his hand pressed under his nose, trying – unsuccessfully – to stop the flow of blood. His eye was red and swollen. Mark closed his mouth.

This was something else that happened a lot.

“What did you do this time?” Mark asked, shocked, as he ushered Fernando inside. Fernando walked past him and waited for him to shut the door.

“Was not my fault.” Fernando started defensively. Mark began to lead him through to the bathroom.

“It never is.” Mark muttered under his breath. From the living room, Jenson looked over the sofa to see Mark leading Fernando into the bathroom just to the left of the living room door. He sighed and put the controller down, admitting to himself that the game would not come off pause. Not now Fernando was there. Jenson folded his arms, changing the AV on the television and flicking through the channels. Back in the bathroom, Mark sat Fernando on the toilet as he ran some tissue under the tap.

“So what was it this time? Were her hips just too irresistible? Did she say something in English that you misunderstood? Or did you really just not see the other guy go to get her another drink?” Mark asked, the jealously coming out as anger in his tone. He kept his back to Fernando and Fernando felt his disappointment wash over him.

“You are angry with me.” Fernando said, dropping his head. Mark lifted his chin softly and Fernando’s eyes shone at him, begging for forgiveness. He dabbed delicately at Fernando’s nose.

“I’m not angry.”

“Then disappointed.” Fernando tried to drop his head but Mark held it still. He threw the sodden clump of tissue in the sink and handed Fernando a dry wad.

“Hold this still.” Mark said, placing Fernando’s hand under his nose. Fernando watched Mark’s face as he ran the bar of soap under the tap then began cleaning Fernando’s hand.

“Did not know where else to go.” Fernando muttered, his voice sounding thick due to the blockage he was holding under his nose. Mark tried not to see the tears building in Fernando’s eyes.

“I’m not upset with you, Fernando.” Mark tried softly. A tear splashed onto Fernando’s cheek anyway. Mark attempted to ignore it but it felt like being punched in the face. “I… Errh… I don’t know about you’re shirt, mate. We can try and wash it but I don’t-”

“-Am sorry…” Fernando muttered, moving to get up. Mark placed a hand on his shoulder, holding him in place.

“You… Don’t be.” Mark said, looking straight into Fernando’s eyes. “I wouldn’t want you to go anywhere else.” Mark pulled Fernando into a hug and felt the same, scared guy from a few weeks ago resurface. He clung so tightly to Mark but Mark never wanted him to let go.

“Is not fair, though.”

“I don’t want you going anywhere else, Fernando.” Mark stated, pulling him closer.

“Is not fair to you… Must think I am using you…”

“No, Fernando. No… Not at all…” Mark felt Fernando pull back and he reluctantly let him go. “If you want to… If you go through to my room, you can borrow a shirt. Just… Pick one and then take this one off. I’ll see what I can do.” Fernando nodded getting to his feet, giving the wad of tissue back to Mark. Mark watched him leave the bathroom before slamming his hand down on the sink. Too many emotions conflicted within him when he was that close with Fernando. So close to the insecurities and weakness he won’t show anyone else. Mark cleaned up quickly before returning to the front room. Jenson looked up from the television and Mark forgot he was even there until he slumped into the chair next to him.

“Is he staying?” Jenson asked in an even tone. Mark ran his hands over his face.

“I don’t know.”

“What happened this time?”

“Someone punched him. Don’t know why.” Mark stared up at the ceiling, not knowing what to do with himself.

“Where is he now?”

“Gone to get a clean shirt.” There was a pause where Jenson tried not to look as outraged as he felt.

“One of yours?” Mark turned to him, frowning at his tone.

“What’s with the twenty questions, mate?”

“Do you want me to go?” Jenson sat forwards looking hurt and pissed off. Mark’s frown deepened.

“Where the fuck did you get that idea?” Jenson got up and began pacing in front of Mark.

“I don’t know, maybe when you abandoned me to help him!”

“Abandoned you? Jense, he was bleeding. What did you expect me to do?”

“He can look after himself, can’t he?” Jenson seethed. Mark got to his feet.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with you but you need to calm down.”

“Can’t you see he’s just playing with your emotions? He has persuaded you to stay here over Easter! He knows exactly how to play you, Mark! And showing up in the middle of the night? He _expects_ you to be there for him. He expects you to drop everything for him. He’s got you wrapped around his little finger!”

“So?” Mark spat back. Jenson stopped pacing and looked at Mark, completely shocked.

“I don’t want to see him hurt you, Mark.”

“I won’t let him hurt me.” Mark declared. Jenson’s expression changed from shocked to pained.

“He already is.” Jenson said in a soft voice. Mark felt anger rising in him again.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Mark said through gritted teeth. Jenson crossed the room and picked up his bag.

“I think I should go.” Jenson said, more to himself than Mark. Mark watched him move towards the door. He turned back just before crossing the threshold. “I can take Fernando back with me. I can keep an eye on him.” Jenson said. He watched Mark’s expression and scoffed sadly, shaking his head, looking at the floor before he looked back up to Mark. “You don’t want to do that, do you? You can’t do that. You’ve got to have him here, haven’t you.” Jenson looked at Mark for a few more moments before he shook his head again and left. Mark didn’t move. He stayed frozen to the spot until he heard the door close. Mark lent back into the sofa, hanging his head.

“Who was this?” Fernando asked quietly. Mark looked up to see him hovering in the doorway wearing Mark’s Ferrari shirt. Mark let a small smile fall on his face.

“Jenson.” He said, moving towards Fernando. When he was close enough he inspected the impact around Fernando’s eye. “I reckon that will bruise.” Mark mused. Fernando swallowed uncomfortably.

“What did he want?” Fernando pushed. Mark’s gaze moved from the side of Fernando’s face to his eyes. He shrugged.

“Just catching up.” Mark said, letting go of Fernando’s face. Fernando knew Mark wasn’t quite telling the truth. He had heard what Jenson had accused him of. He just hoped Mark didn’t believe it. He followed Mark back down the hallway to his room considering this. Because Fernando didn’t mean to be messing Mark around. He didn’t mean to be using him. He just felt safe and cared for in Mark’s company. And he couldn’t accept Mark’s offer of more because he couldn’t admit the true scale of his real feelings. So how was he supposed to convey them to Mark if he couldn’t believe them himself? He stood in the doorway as Mark opened his cupboard and pulled out a spare pillow and blankets. Fernando held out his arms to take them but Mark just shook his head.

“It’s alright. You take my bed.” Mark smiled as he made to move past Fernando. Fernando shook his head.

“No. Is your flat.”

“Yeah, but I can’t be bothered to deal with Kimi’s questions.” Mark tried to joke. Fernando let the corners of his mouth turn up in response. When Mark moved past Fernando again Fernando didn’t try to stop him. Mark held the back of Fernando’s neck softly and pressed his lips to the Spaniard’s forehead before leaving the room. The Australian sighed as he set up his makeshift bed on the sofa, turning off the television and PlayStation in the process. He had given Fernando the chance to push him away, but he hadn’t. Fernando had accepted his kiss. As Mark climbed under the blankets he smiled at the fact that tomorrow his bed would have a hint of Fernando on it.

\- - -

Something was being waved in front of his face. Mark tentatively opened one eye slowly to inspect what it was but he was immediately blinded. He groaned as he rolled onto his back and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes. Satisfied, Kimi rose back to his normal height and turned off the flashing light on his phone. He took a swig out of his beer as he watched Mark. When Mark’s hands relaxed and fell to his sides, Kimi kicked the chair to wake him up again. Mark looked up at him before sighing deeply.

“You are sleeping on the couch.” Kimi commented, taking another mouthful of beer.

“Great observational skills you’ve got there, mate.” Mark comment sarcastically in a sleepy voice. He propped himself up on one elbow, rubbing his eyes and stifling a yawn.

“Why?”

“What time is it?” Mark asked, ignoring Kimi’s question and placing both of his feet flat on the floor. Kimi checked his phone.

“Quarter past three.” Kimi said blandly, drinking more from his bottle. Mark looked up at him again.

“And you’ve decided to wake me up because…?”

“You are sleeping on the couch.”

“Yeah…?” Mark said, nodding his head slowly and trying to encourage Kimi to elaborate. Kimi lent forwards.

“Why?”

“Is it bothering you?” Mark yawned, stretching his arms in the air. Kimi narrowed his eyes slightly.

“You are deliberately not answering my question.” Kimi took another long drag from his beer keeping his eyes on Mark. Mark shrugged, not able to hold Kimi’s gaze.

“I fell asleep watching television.” Mark lied. Kimi let the bottle fall to his side.

“Right.” Kimi’s tone was disbelieving and Mark glared up at him. “Is not because you are still moping over the kid?”

“He’s not a kid.” Mark snapped. Kimi smirked and tapped his nose with his finger twice. Mark rolled his eyes. “You don’t know anything, Kimi.”

“Is the cutie little first year more interested in girls?” Kimi teased in a childish voice. Mark stood.

“What was it you wanted?” Mark seethed, moving thought to the kitchen to get some water. Kimi followed him.

“Came in and was going to watch some sport. You were on the sofa.” Kimi said, leaning against the work surface and finishing off his beer. Mark kept his back to him as he filled up a glass of water.

“Well I’m terribly sorry for that.” Mark spat sarcastically. “I’m so glad you woke me.”

“Now you can go back to your room.” Kimi said evenly, watching Mark closely. He caught the tensing in Mark’s back and smirked, putting his empty bottle down on the work surface.

“Maybe I want to watch sports with you.” Mark said wearily as he turned around. He took a few mouthfuls of water with Kimi just watching him.

“You don’t.” Kimi countered. Mark blinked.

“How do you know?”

“Think you would prefer to go in your room.” Kimi said as Mark’s eyes drifted longingly down the hall. Without another word, Kimi started heading towards Mark’s room. Mark’s eyes shot open wide and he began to panic. He put the glass down and followed the Finn.

“Kimi? Where are you-?”

“-Your room.” Kimi said with no other offer for an explanation. Mark rushed at Kimi and jumped onto his back thinking this would make him stagger and fall to the floor. It didn’t. Kimi just caught Mark’s legs and carried on walking. Mark tried grabbing at the walls to stop him from moving forwards but it barely made a difference. Mark gave up and covered Kimi’s eyes, making the Finn laugh.

“Stop it, Kimi.”

“You know, if you just get in his pants you will feel much better afterwards.” Kimi laughed. Mark tried to prevent himself from going livid. But they were close to his door now. Mark threw his arms forwards and pushed his hips back, trying to prevent Kimi from opening the door. Kimi looked up at him, stopping about three feet from the door. “This is what you want, no?”

“Is what what I want?” Mark snarled still weary that Kimi could move forwards at any moment.

“To get in his pants.” Kimi said as casually as asking for the time. Mark blinked at him, his mouth falling slightly open. Kimi took his actions as a yes and moved forwards again. Mark somehow managed to get a grip on his doorframe and throw Kimi round so his back was against the door.

“That’s unimportant.” Mark growled. Kimi just smirked up at him.

“That’s not a no.”

“Fuck off, Kimi.” Mark spat, moving backwards to drop down behind the Finn. Kimi just pushed back so there was no room and gripped his legs tighter.

“Do you get hard just thinking about him?” Kimi teased. Mark blushed violently trying to shift his hips away from Kimi.

“You’re talking cra-”

“-Are hard now.” Kimi commented in such a blasé tone it was unbelievable. Mark fought against him for a moment but eventually Kimi stepped forwards and let go of Mark’s legs. The Australian dropped to the floor behind him, hands clenched in fists.

“It’s not what he wants….It’s… It’s not what I want.” Mark seethed as Kimi began to walk away from him.

“Liar.” Kimi called back, disappearing into the front room. Mark rubbed his eyes leaning back against the door behind him. Fear shot through him because he couldn’t work out what Kimi was accusing him of lying about: it not being what he wanted or it not being what Fernando wanted. Mark shook his head, pushing the thought from mind. Kimi was just drunk, he always tried to push people’s buttons when he was that way: either in an attempt to get them into bed or to piss them off. Unfortunately, Mark noted, it was working. Before he could put much more thought into the notion a pillow smacked him in the face. He caught it before it fell to the floor and glared over a Kimi. Kimi threw the bundle of blankets messily at him before taking another sip from his new beer. “Get some sleep, Mark.” Kimi stated, almost kindly, before turning his back and walking back through to the lounge. Mark stood for a moment, trying to work Kimi out. But there was no use; he had lived with the guy for almost a year and still didn’t have any idea how he worked. Mark shook his head before taking a deep breath and entering his room.

The curtains were drawn closed and Fernando was tangled in a mess of sheets in the centre of his bed. Mark couldn’t help but smile at him. He put the pillow and blankets on his desk and moved over to him, grinning at the crazy state of his hair. From the small gap in the curtains, the light from outside shone across Fernando’s face and Mark moved his fingers forwards to trace it onto his face. Just before he made contact with Fernando’s skin he balled his hand into a fist and moved away, shaking his head. Kimi was wrong; Fernando didn’t want him. If Fernando wanted him then he wouldn’t go out to clubs every other night trying to pick up girls. He picked up the bedding from the desk and dropped it on the floor, making a makeshift bed at the foot of his actual bed.

Just as he was climbing under the blankets Fernando moved. He rolled onto his stomach, trapping his arm at a weird angle and sighed deeply. Mark watched him for a moment, but when it was clear he was not going to move anymore he got up and moved over to Fernando, adjusting his arm so it was more comfortable. Fernando hummed a little as Mark let go of him and Mark froze, looking down at his face. Fernando buried the side of his face deeper into the pillow but still didn’t wake. Crouching down so their faces we in line, Mark cupped the side of Fernando’s face and ran his thumb across his skin. A small smile pulled at Fernando’s lips and Mark was suddenly overcome with the intimacy of it. He pushed himself away from Fernando and whilst mentally scolding himself for doing what he had just done he climbed back under the blankets, back turned to his bed.

But sleep wasn’t going to find him again now. Mark’s fingers tingled with the sense of the heat he had just felt off Fernando’s skin. He couldn’t shift it. It was embedded in his mind and taking over every single one of his thoughts. He had felt Fernando’s skin before, but never like that. Never in the intimate, delicate way he just had. Mark tired to remove the thoughts from his head but it was too late. His fantasies and dreams with Fernando were already pouring into his head. He curled up tighter under the blanket, squinting his eyes shut, but it only made the thoughts more vivid, the need burn stronger. Mark growled quietly in frustration as he rolled onto his back, throwing his arms across his face.

“What are you doing down there?” A voice whispered softly to Mark. Mark opened his eyes, knowing unless he was going mental there was only one person who could be talking to him. Slowly, Mark moved his arms lower down his face to reveal his eyes.

Fernando was leaning over the end of the bed, looking at him with big, innocent eyes.

“Kimi’s back. He wanted to watch sports.” Mark whispered back, trying to ignore just how sexy Fernando looked leaning over him like that. He closed his eyes and pushed the thought from his mind.

“But why are you on the floor?” Fernando asked. Mark looked back up at him, frowning slightly.

“I don’t understand, mate.” Mark said and Fernando sighed. Mark observed as Fernando climbed from the bed and moved over until he was lying next to him. Mark still frowned. “Fernando, what-?”

“-Shh.” Fernando smiled, pressing his finger to his lips and letting his eyes close. He wasn’t lying on Mark but he may as well have been. Mark couldn’t not look over at him. This was wrong and right at the same time. Badly good. Correctly incorrect. And any other oxymora Mark could think of. Mark opened his mouth to speak several times but he couldn’t seem to find the correct words. Fernando slowly opened his eyes and looked at Mark. “Your floor is uncomfortable.”

“It’s a floor. It’s not technically meant to be slept on.” Mark tried to joke but the intense way Fernando was looking at him made his voice breathy.

“So why are you sleeping on it?” Fernando asked moving a little closer to Mark. Mark forced himself to take a deep breath and calm himself before he answered.

“Kimi took the sofa.” He muttered. Even saying those four words normally in this situation came as a massive struggle.

“But there is the bed.” Fernando said, looking directly into Mark’s eyes.

“You were in there, Fernando. I didn’t want…” Mark worried his bottom lip between his teeth. Fernando moved a hand up to Mark’s face and removed his lips from between his teeth.

“Do not do this.” Fernando requested, his eyes glued to Mark’s lips. Mark swallowed nervously instead and Fernando looked back to his eyes. “Am not in the bed now.”

“You’re not sleeping on the floor.” Mark said definitively. Fernando just shook his head.

“Neither are you.”

There were two days Mark was never going to forget: the first time he kissed Fernando and the first time they shared a bed. Mark just prayed his Finnish roommate didn’t find out about it.


End file.
